Crazy Forever and Always
by preposterousnotion
Summary: All her crazy was his. Forever and always.   Please let me know what you think! Enjoy :D
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

Crazy Forever and Always

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: I apologise for the long wait for the next in the "crazy" series. I wrote this whilst on my unintentionally extended holiday; it will probably end up being a 2 or 3 shot. I hope you like it!

Thank you for your continued support of this Puckleberry series. It makes my day :)

Bree.

* * *

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

Rachel woke him up practically in the middle of the night, wafting a wet cloth at his face.

"Fuckoff", he groaned, batting it away lazily. "S'too early! S'vacation!"

"C'mon Noah! Wake up! My dads are video calling from Rome and it's costing them a fortune to wait for me to wake you up".

"Babe", he yawned, propping himself up on his shoulders, "you know exactly how to wake me up quickly".

"You know I would Noah, but I don't suppose we would be able to stop and talk to my dads".

He sighed, pulling her on top of him to kiss her thoroughly.

"Noah!" she whined, "We can have sex after we've talked to my dads".

He just sucked on her earlobe and pretended he hadn't heard.

Wifey was wearing only his shirt and was lying on top of him. He would've been completely stupid not to kiss her, specially cos her hair was all mussed up and her face all pouty. Fucking hot.

He stopped suddenly.

"Am I naked?"

She giggled breathily.

"When are you not naked?"

She had a point.

He couldn't help the fact that he always forgot to leave some spare clothes over at hers accidentally on purpose so oops he had to be naked. And it's not like he was going to stop her wearing his clothes. Cos he liked how they smelled like her when he put them on again. And these days they kinda had a joint scent. Twas fucking awesome, they should totally bottle that shit and make millions.

He scooped her up and deposited her ungracefully onto the floor so he could get up and stretch. Yeah she was totally checking him out. He posed subtly.

"I'll be in the lounge", Rachel said, throwing his pants at him.

He trailed after her, pulling in his pants.

That was not funny woman. Stop laughing. She totally put that rug in the way knowing that he would be watching her and she totally knew he would trip over the edge of the rug and go flying. Yeah she should kiss it better. The sentiment was slightly lost as she laughed against his forehead.

"Good afternoon Noah!" Mr Berry said brightly, and Puck peered more closely at the screen. Rachel's dads were sitting on a red leather couch surrounded by so many plants it looked like the couch was in the middle of the fucking jungle or something.

"Hi! How's Rome and shit?"

Rachel settled comfortably on his lap.

"Very nice thank you! It's a beautiful city- very romantic".

Yeah. He didn't get that shit. How could a city be romantic?

"Noah stop looking down at my breasts", Rachel hissed, "My dads can see you".

"We have a present for you guys actually", Mr Berry continued, and Puck once again silently thanked him for pretending not to notice.

"Really?" Rachel clapped her hands in excitement and her boobs kinda squished together.

"Yeah. Our friends Gareth and Doug have invited us to stay in their villa in the north if Italy", one Mr Berry began.

"So we won't be using our hotel room which is booked for another three nights." the other Mr Berry continued, "so we thought you two might want to come to Rome for a few days!"

Rachel jiggled up and down with happiness, which made her boobs also jiggle up and down.

Perhaps he should stop watching them so closely; he kept forgetting to look at the screen.

"Wow thanks sirs", he said.

If Rachel was happy; he was happy. And besides, in Rome there were all those gladiators and bloodthirsty emperors and shit. Like in that Xbox game that Chang had which was totally awesome.

"I've ordered plane tickets and a hire car and everything", Mr Berry was saying, "It should all arrive later today by special delivery."

Puck was actually pretty excited. Okay then he was very excited. He was going on holiday. With Rachel. This vacation was the best ever, and he had thought just staying at Rachel's all day every day was pretty good.

He squeezed her suddenly and she turned her head to peck his lips.

This was going to be fucking awesome.

* * *

"So how come you're allowed to be over here if your plane leaves later today?" Mike asked, confused.

"Apparently putting my book of sex positions-which by the way she bought me for my birthday- in a bag doesn't mean I've packed."

"You surprise me", Mike said sarcastically.

"I know!" the sarcasm was lost on puck.

"She's at my house now, putting clothes and shit into this pink suitcase... Chang fucking duck behind that car!"

"My mum and dad got married in Rome", Matt piped up, "Chang duck!"

"Yeah... How can a city be romantic?.. Chang stop throwing grenades!"

"Dunno it's something to do with the buildings..."

"Buildings?"

What the fuck?

"Sorry", mike said. Git. Just threw a fucking grenade at his own team mate.

"You have to eat pizza", Matt continued, bringing together all his knowledge of Italy. "And spaghetti".

"Ah yeah, can we play that Rome game?" T'would be like reading the tour guide, which Rachel had instructed him to read, but a lot more visually interesting.

The phone rang. Matt walked across in front of them to reach it.

"Fuck off Rutherford! I can't see anything!"

Oops. Just shot Chang- s'okay, he probably didn't notice cos Matt was in the way.

"S'the missus", Matt said, handing him the phone.

Puck thrust the controller at him.

"Don't die", he ordered.

"Hey babe".

"Noah, why do you have a vibrator in your underwear drawer?"

Fuck.

"Erm... You know when it was your birthday?"

"Yes…".

She sounded worried, and it wasn't like he could just kiss her and put it all right.

"Well it was a present"

"What?"

"A present- for your birthday".

"Vibrator?" Mike questioned, casually.

Puck nodded and stuck his middle finger up at him when a smile flickered over his face.

"Yeah, I didn't give it to you cos I wanted to be romantic and shit so I got you that necklace instead."

"Uhuh..."

He could tell she wasn't impressed.

He could just tell these things.

"It's special one", he argued, slightly desperately.

"A special one? How?"

He mumbled something, glaring furiously at the grinning faces if his two friends, who had paused their game and were smiling up at him like loons just to make him even more embarrassed.

Gits.

"Noah I didn't hear that".

"It's life like", he said eventually.

"Oh?...how is it?..._oh_".

There was a silence as she inspected it carefully.

"Okay well I'm going to pack that if you don't mind. And I may have to test it out..."

"Don't do anything until I get there", he ordered, grabbing his keys, "I'll be there in five- oh wait- make that ten, I'm gunna pick up some popcorn."

* * *

Please Review :)


	2. Chapter 2: It's just Plane Crazy

Crazy Forever and Always

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: The next chapter!

_Please_ Review :)

Bree.

* * *

**Chapter 2: It's Just Plane Crazy**

"I'll do all your chores for a week".

"Nope".

"A month?"

"Nope!"

"I'll wash your car?"

"S'already clean!"

"Chang just fucking drive us to the airport! I've already said her dads will give you petrol money!"

"Why should I?"

Puck sighed. "cos you're not really allowed to make out in a public taxi... Well that and Rach probs wouldn't let me".

Git fucking guffawed with laughter.

"You guys have some kind of disease", he teased.

"S'not funny", Puck insisted. "Tis deadly serious. If I don't, like, kiss her or something then I _will die_".

He waited patiently for Mike to gradually stop laughing. "I'll drive you but I'm bringing Matt. And 2nd base max."  
"I'll try", he said, begrudgingly.

* * *

"Hi Mike", Rachel greeted him brightly.

Mike surveyed her carefully, and looked around to check that Puck wasn't within hearing range.

"Is it really life like?"  
She nodded, grinning at his wide eyes.

"Where's Matt?"

"Oh he's just trying to fix the radio in my car- he won't be a minute".

Rachel nodded, "we're just making a packed tea", she explained.

Puck was in the kitchen, cutting the crusts off some jam sandwiches. What? He didn't like the crust on white bread! He was still a total badass- ask wifey.

"S'all done babe", he announced, stealing a sneaky kiss. She was so cute when she was all bubbly and excited.

"I've got the tickets, booking forms... Everything else." She checked them off on her fingers.

He grinned and grabbed their bright pink suitcase.

"Let's roll!"

"Dude-is that your suitcase", Mike asked, struggling to keep a straight face.

Rachel glared at him

"I'll have you know Micheal, that it is very easy to recognise when the luggage us on the carousel and therefore is a very sensible colouring".

Mike looked as though he wished he'd never asked.  
Sucker.

They all traipsed out to Mike's car.

"Rutherford".

"Puckermans", Matt grinned, emphasising the 's' and Puck flicked his ear sharply.

Mike pulled away.

"Is it safe for him to drive?" Rachel asked, wrapping Puck's arm around her to make herself more comfortable on the back seat, "he ran over my dance instructor". "S'alright if you're inside the car", he assured her, "he can't run you over if your actually inside the car".

"Oh okay".

He was just about to complain how hungry he was when wifey whopped out a bag of sweets from nowhere.

Chang didn't have to look at him like that. It was an accidental boob graze. Not even on the scale.  
Turd.

* * *

So now they were totally lost.

"We've already driven past that lampost", Matt said helpfully, twisting the map round.

"They should really mark lampposts in maps- would make it a lot easier".

"Nah t'wouldnt", Puck argued, "cos they might move… like sheep".

"They don't have legs", Mike pointed out, taking the same left they had taken about 20 minutes ago.

"I still think we should get out and ask someone", Rachel said quietly, "we've got the time".

Puck ignored the fact that he'd been the main one to reject this idea before. "I vote what Rach says", he declared.

"We're not lost", Mike maintained, "I know exactly where to go".

"We shouldn't stop", Matt agreed, "we're men".

Rachel scoffed.  
"Noah's a man- he agrees we should stop and ask".

"Yeah but he's only thinking of..."

"Mike you fucker, pull over and ask that blonde- she's got a kid with her- she probably isn't going to rape you". Puck interrupted.

Wifey blatantly swooned at his display of controlling manliness.

* * *

They got there. Typically, their plane was delayed; by two hours. Hence why he was sprawled uncomfortably on one of the tiny airport chairs, with Rachel (who was a lot more comfortable, curled up in his lap), and playing eye spy.

"I spy with my little eye... Something beginning with 'v'"

It was his turn. He was brilliant at eye spy. He was the master. Hers was 'suitcase'- pah- his was way more inventive.

"Erm... Vest?"

"Nope".

Then he blanched as he saw the old guy who was in fact wearing a vest.

"Ewww!"

Rachel laughed.

"Can you see the screen?"

"Yup- says approximately 1 hour 30 for the flight to Rome".

"Ooh! Vampire!"

"Where?"

"That kid"

Oh okay. That was actually kinda scary.

"Yeah no it's not that."

She was silent for a while, thinking, and he idly licked at this bit of skin on her shoulder just cos it was there. And cos he could.

"Hang on a minute; is this something you can actually see or is it something you can see with your eyes closed?"

She knew him too well.

"I've got it", she said, grinning.

"Say it then".

"I can't Noah, it's rude!"

He grinned against her neck, kissing up to her ear.

"Say it".

She shivered at the sensation of his hot breath in her ear and carefully twisted round to lower her face close to his and murmured against his lips.

Fuck that was hot.

The whole eye spy game turned into a competition to make each other say dirty words. A definite improvement to the normal game. Especially when he was rewarded with a particularly searing kiss if he said it in that voice that made her squirm all over the place. And she knew a lit of dirty words. He had taught her well.

* * *

Eventually they were checking in. Rachel had totally had a little sleep all cuddled into his chest and he had had to keep pinching himself so that he would be able to hear the announcements and wouldn't fall asleep himself. Serious, he had this bruise on his arm from all the pinching.

They were queuing now, for check in.

"Noah are you sure I look okay?" Rachel asked again, frantically patting down her hair.

Oops. That would probably be his fault. It was all soft and he just had to stroke it. And then he had got his finger all twisted up in it and when he managed to get his finger free, it was all a bit messy, so he had kinda moved a couple of her hair clips around to try to cover it up.

Twas sticking up at random now.

Quick, say something nice.

"Babe", just a beat, to look down at her all serious and gentle, "you are the fucking bomb".

With emphasis on the 'are' for good measure.

"Excuse me sir, could you come with me please. And ma'am, please step this way."

Fuck. So turns out, security guys don't take kindly to people saying other people are  
bombs. They were ushered into a side room.

"I have to warn you sir, madam, that everything you say in this room will be recorded and may be used as evidence against you in court".

Rachel looked up at him, and her eyes were all big and scared and he suddenly felt very protective. If they made her cry- he would totally beat them up.

"S'alright babe", he said gruffly, squeezing her hand.

"John this is Kevin. We have a suspected terrorist case in room 2. Please can you bring a couple of sniffer dogs and Charlie Green."

Terrorist case? Fucking hell. And who's Charlie Green? This was like that programme  
that his ma liked. She was always shouting at the TV to tell the security guys where the drugs were hidden. It was the janitor every time... Or was that something else?

"Did you pack this bag yourselves?", Kevin asked, viewing all it's pink glory suspiciously.

Another two security guards entered the room. Rachel moved closer into Puck's side. One was carrying a scary looking black briefcase and the other one was restraining an alert looking retriever.

"Yea", Puck replied, eyeing the guy with the briefcase warily. He was now opening said briefcase and carefully removing some weird metal stick things.

"Could you please step away from the young lady, sir?"

"No!" Rachel said quickly.

Kevin smiled sympathetically.

Puck gently let go of her hand and watched bewildered as the Charlie Green began to prod at her with these stick things.

Meanwhile the other guy was searching through their bag, and Puck got angrier and angrier each meticulously folded layer of clothes he disrupted.

"Did you or did you not say, and I quote, 'you are the fucking bomb' to this young lady, sir."

Puck concentrated on talking in full sentences, and not punching the guy who had just unfolded his favourite boxers.

"I did say that, sir, but it was merely a comment as to how particularly...er...smokin' my wifey was looking".  
"Your wifey? So you two are married?"

Kevin was filling in a form now, deliberately tilting it away so that Puck couldn't read over the smaller mans shoulder.

"It's a term of endearment". Rachel explained, "we're not married."

There was a tense silence. Puck was itching to walk over to Rachel and give her a comforting bear hug.

"There's nothing in here, Kev", John reported, putting the last item back in the bag (both Puck and Rachel blushed bright red when they realised what it was).

"And the dog can't find anything."

"Yeah she's not a bomb", Charlie said, allowing Rachel to return to Puck's side.

"Of course I'm not a bomb", she returned, haughtily, more confident now Puck's arms were around her protectively.  
"Just doing out job", Kevin said. "Now John here will escort you to the plane as it is almost ready to leave."

* * *

"Baby are you okay? You look like you've just seen a ghost."

The plane flew through another bumpy turbulence, and his grip on her hand tightened. "S'not fucking supposed to do that", he muttered.

"I think you're crushing the bones in my hand Noah", Rachel gasped.

He loosened his grip and grinned at her sheepishly.

"Sorry".

"I love you Noah".

"I love you too".

"So... Do you think we could go have sex in the toilet?"

That's one of the many things he loved about his girl- she knew exactly what she wanted.

"I think it would be rude not to", he agreed, trying to hide his childish grin with a nonchalant nod.

Very nearly decked a couple of small kids on his haste to head for the toilet.

Was alright though, he made it down the gangway in one piece.

Was a lot smaller in the toilet than he had thought.

He could barely fit in by himself and when Rachel came in and closed the door, he was practically mounting her just to fit in the room.

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't move my legs."

"Just stay where you are".

Well, he didn't really have much choice, he was completely wedged in.

He watched her, fascinated, as she managed to bend herself round to face him, her feet braced either side of the toilet.

"Noah, is there any way you can stop flushing the toilet? It's a bit if a turn off".

Fucking flush was motion sensitive or something.

He wrapped some toilet roll around the sensor.

It seemed to do the trick.

"You bending and shit was pretty hot", he said kissing her gently, well, it was supposed to be gentle, he slightly overestimated the distance between their faces.

"Yeah?" she said, rubbing her nose from their collision.

He paled as the cabin shuddered through some more turbulence.

"I think I may have to take your mind off that", she said seductively.

Seriously, only she would be able to turn him on when he was completely stuck in the world's smallest toilet cubicle which stank of chlorine.

She kissed him fully, slightly lopsided as one of her feet had slipped into the bin.

He took control of the kiss, plunging his tongue into her mouth, his hands gripping her thighs to steady her.

She couldn't really spare her hands; she needed them to hold onto the handles in the ceiling.

But then another shake of the plane forced Puck sideways, and he was wedged into the miniature sink, which was actually a lot more comfortable than his previous position, and meant he could pull Rachel to straddle him, and she could lean against him rather than hold in for dear life.

Her hands were at undoing his jeans now, and she was catching his moans in her hot mouth as the plane bumped and ground Rachel's hips into his.

Her little finger was tugging on his nipple ring through his t shirt now, and with her other hand she managed to force down the zipper, and somehow, they together managed to push his jeans down over his hips.

Thank the lord she was wearing a skirt. The space was filled with the sound of their heavy breathing, as Puck broke the kiss to be able to guide his hands to her skirt zipper.

As soon as he had found it, she was kissing him again, and Puck forgot they were even in the toilet on a plane.

All he knew was that he needed to be inside her, he needed to have that feeling that he was whole that feeling that only he could give him.

Her expert hand was on his throbbing cock now, holding it as she positioned herself over him. He was going to get burns where the waistband of his jeans would rub on the tops of his legs.

But he couldn't care less.

He had to touch her.

"Babe?"

"Mergh?"

"Can you like... Thrust or something because my hand is stuck!"

She did thrust, driving him deep inside her, and their simultaneous moans sent the man waiting outside hurrying down the gangway to the other toilet.

Fuck this unusual angle was intense.

Fuck.

Her breath was coming out in these little whimpery pants against his neck as they found some sort of rhythm, and the hot tap was running down his leg but he didn't even notice.

"Fuck Noah", she moaned, and he knew he was close.

"Fucking love you... Fuck... Rachel".

He spilled hurriedly inside her and bit at her hard nipple through her top to send her falling after him, clinging tightly to her as they returned to the tiny cubicle in the middle if the plane.

She lay against his chest, still.

Puck hummed softly and dropped a few haphazard kisses to her arm which was draped across him.

Best vacation ever.

And they hadn't even landed in Rome yet.

* * *

Please Review :)


	3. Chapter 3: I Ate Something Crazy

Crazy Forever and Always

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: The third chapter! Just the epilogue left :(

Please Review :)

I used artistic license for the time differences, just for comedic effect. And sorry if I have missed any Englishisms.

Bree.

* * *

**Chapter 3: I Ate Something Crazy**

Okay so a few of the other passengers gave them some very strange looks as they stood waiting or their luggage.

"Noah? Is it just me or are people looking at us?"

Well, he thought the leg of his jeans had dried out quite nicely...

"It's ma sunglasses babe", he said casually, taking her hand, "they think I'm famous and shit".

He glared menacingly at the couple of guys standing with their luggage next to the carousel as their eyes briefly flicked to Rachel.

"I saw a sign for hire cars over there".

* * *

Italians drive like complete maniacs.

Seriously.

Fucking insane.

He wasn't scared of anything (much), but Italian drivers were definitely going on the list right after Rachel chopping off his package if he fell asleep during a musical.

It didn't help that the hire car had like, no crumple zones.

In his trusty truck, if he crashed into anything they would come off worse.

In this tiny bright green thing he would be the one coming off worse.

Shit. Fucking moustache just undertook him then slammed his brakes on to miss the crazy git on a motorbike.

And don't get him started on the roads.

Just thank fuck for sat nav.

"Left", Rachel reminded him.

Yeah why couldn't they have it programmed in English?

"This one?"

"Fuck turn left Noah!"

Never failed to get him hard when she swore.

And it was pretty fun to drive like an Italian maniac.

"There are loads of metro things around Rome", Rachel said, reading from the guide book. "We don't really need this car".

Aww. He was just getting into the swing of driving like a complete nutter.

And the sound of the tiny cars horn wasn't actually that annoying after a while.

"It's getting pretty late local time", she continued.

"No wonder I'm so hungry", Puck grumbled.

"You can't possibly be hungry", Rachel gasped, "You ate about a hundred sandwiches!"

"Nah I'm just joking babe, but twas pretty funny to see your face."

She elbowed him playfully.

Ouch! Her elbows were sharper than daggers. No joke.

She would come in useful if they had to queue for sight seeing and shit.

He was intrigued to see what was so special bout these buildings and whatever.

* * *

Fucking hell this hotel room was like a fucking palace.

If he wasn't a complete stud he would totally be squealing and running round like wifey was right now.

Not that he was going to admit that.

"Noah! Noah! We have a jacuzzi bath!"

"What? With bubbles and shit?"

"We are having a jacuzzi right now", Rachel said decidedly, stepping neatly out of her skirt.

Fuck yes.

He was totally down with that.

Jacuzzi bath sex added a whole new dimension to regular bath or shower sex.

The bubbles were hot.

And Rachel in bubbles was hot.

* * *

He woke up with something squishy stuck to his head behind his ear.

Fucking chocolates on the pillows.

Rachel looked pretty adorable all zonked out and hugging his arm to her.

And naked.

This bed was seriously awesome.

Absolutely humongous.

And a lot sturdier than it first looked.

And with about a million pillows (which were strewn all over the floor cos let's face it they just got in the way).

He was wide awake now.

A few minutes later he couldn't wait any longer.

"Rach? Rach?"

"Mmmmm"

"Can we go to the Coliseum?"

"Mmmmm"

"Rach? Rach? Can we go here? I dunno how you pronounce it..."

He pointed at the picture in the guidebook and wiggled it in front of her face.

"Baby, it's 6am!"Rachel groaned, opening bleary eyes.

"S'not", Puck denied vehemently, "s'like 10 or summat".

"It is in Ohio".

"Oh? Is it different?"

"Yeah".

"Oh".

He lay back again, dumping the guide book on the bed side table.

"Woah! That TV is huuuge!"

Rachel yawned.

"Noah? Why don't you go find some breakfast and bring us something nice?"

"We could just get room service..."

"It's okay- you go... Erm… explore a bit... And maybe I'll be awake by the time you get back".

* * *

Okay so that was the third guy he'd seen wearing a sheet.

"'Scuse me", he said politely, "why is everyone wearing a sheet?"

"It's wear a toga to work day sir", the doorman answered smiling.

Of course it was wear a toga to work day.

Twas obvious.

He didn't know why he'd even bothered to ask.

* * *

Hotel breakfast was like a buffet and all that shit, and he felt they both needed something more sustaining than fruit and cereal and stuff. So he ventured out down the street and found this kickass ice cream shop that made all American ice cream shops look like complete losers.

But with Rachel wanting balanced healthy diet or whatever he decided to check out this bakery thing.

Fuck yes.

They sold pasta shaped like penises.

He loved Italy.

He would have to take a few bags of those back for his boys.

Talking of his boys...

"Chang? What the hell do you want? This is costing me money!"

"It's costing me more", Mike retorted.

"You know I'm feeding Rachel's fish?"

"Yeah..."

"Well it's dead"

"Which one?"

"There are two? Crap!"

There was a pause.

"Oh it's alright one was hiding in that plastic thingy- what us that?"

"It's a treasure chest. Which one is dead?"

"The one with a long tail".

"Fuck. That's Beans. It's her favourite one!"

"Way to make me feel better"

"What did you do to it?"

"I didn't do anything! It was dead when I arrived."

"Fuck"

"Maybe I can buy one that looks exactly the same. She'll never know!"

"What?"

"Oh my god it moved!"

"What?"

"It's alive! It's alive! Okay mate I'll see you in a couple of days".

Nutter.

Complete nutter.

Can you eat pizza for breakfast?

* * *

"Hey babe- you ready to take a photo real quick if I borrow that guy's helmet?"

Okay so he was a little disappointed that gladiators and all that shit were only around in _ancient_ roman times but this Coliseum was fucking epic.

"Yup. Give me a count down".

"'Kay... 3-2-1 go go go!"

Haha.

Guy chased him across to that arch thing but was totally worth it.

"S'nice here", he commented, returning to Rachel's side and slipping his arm over her shoulders.

She grinned at him.

"I haven't been on holiday an awful lot, because my dads are away on work and a lot, but this is great... What I'm trying to say is this is great because you're here and I love you".

"Love you too babe. S'the best holiday ever".

He kissed her lightly.

She loved her some of that PDA.

"We should go out for dinner", she mused. "There's this brilliant restaurant in the guide book."

"Do they serve pizza? I feel like we should eat pizza... Or pasta"

"The guide book said the food is fantastic".

Famous last words...

* * *

"Baby… Try and have a sip of water… Just a tiny sip, for me?"

He groaned theatrically. Seriously, if wifey wasn't there all 'Florence Nightingaling' and shit- he would be, like, playing 'rock, paper, scissors' with the Grim Reaper right now.

She tipped the glass up against his lips and dribbled a little water into his mouth.

He swallowed.

"Oh. I wasn't…."

He jumped out of bed and ran over to fill the toilet for the umpteenth time that morning.

He returned, wiping his forehead groggily, and she gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I feel like shit." He said, pointlessly.

She could see that.

"I think it was the prawns", she said.

"I hate prawns", he grumbled, gently lowering onto the bed.

Fucking prawns.

"And we had a pretty energetic evening…"

"Babe". He said, he eyebrows serious, "I would not stop having sex with you, even if it meant like I felt like this every time".

Woah. Fuck. And he actually meant that. Love was dangerous.

"Awww. That so cu-" She paused. "Badass".

Aw man.

"It's hot when you say badass", he muttered. "And I would, like, kiss you and shit but I probs taste like vomit."

Rachel screwed her nose up in disgust.

"As much as I love you…"

He grinned.

"S'ok".

"Can I snuggle? Or are you feeling too delicate?"

He lifted a limp arm in invitation.

"Got nuffin else to upchuck".

She nestled against him carefully.

"What about that fountain and shit? You really wanted to go see that."

"Yeah. But it wouldn't be the same without you."

Fuck. Was that a tear in his eye? This food poisoning crap was turning him into a girl.

* * *

He woke up, feeling a lot more like himself.

"Babe", he hissed.

Rachel stirred, mumbling softly.

"Babe? You awake?"

"No."

Huh?

"I survived!"

"That's great baby".

She didn't sound very enthusiastic.

He waited patiently for her to wake up properly.

"So… what do you want to do? We have the rest of the afternoon…" She turned to him expectantly.

"You."

"Okay that works for me too…"

* * *

Please Review :)


	4. Chapter 4: Epilogue

Crazy Forever and Always

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Glee.

AN: So this is the very short ending to this fic :(

Please Review :)

Bree.

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**Chapter 4: Crazy Forever and Always (Epilogue)**

They were sitting on the edge of a fountain in St Peter's square.

His arms were just holding her.

It was fucking perfect.

The square was all atmospheric and shit… practically deserted and some lights illuminating the columns.

"Yeah so Rach?"  
"Hmmmm?"  
He just wanted to stay like that forever.  
It hit him like a ton of bricks.  
There were no other women.  
It was just her.  
Fuck.

"Are you okay Noah?"  
He was more than fucking okay. He was fucking ecstatic.  
This was all new territory now. And he had suddenly no idea what to do with himself.  
So he just kissed her neck a bit, suckling at the sensitive skin.  
"I love you Rach".  
"I love you Noah".

He frowned, and not for the first time his words failed him.  
"No... I mean... Yes but... Erm... I _love_ you..."  
"Okay..."  
"I mean like... Fuck. I _love_ you".  
Her fingers paused in drawing his name on his chest.

He grimaced with the effort to try and be romantic and sissy.  
"Forever and always".  
She was legit crying all over him now.  
"Fuck. What's wrong babe? Are you hurt?"  
For a painful moment he imagined some lethal assassins knife being hurled across the square.  
"Forever and always", she sobbed, "I love you forever and always".  
Ahhh. It was all emotional tears and shit.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and kissed away her tears tenderly.  
A light warm breeze blew across the square and it was just so fucking perfect.  
He stood up carefully.  
"W...where you goin?"  
"Nowhere babe. I'm not going anywhere."  
She nodded, and he stood between her legs as she sat on the edge of the fountain, just kissing and kissing her, soft and unhurried.  
And then he just stood there, looking deep into her eyes and she was all gazing right back as though he had just told her she'd won a billion dollars.

Her hands held his firmly on her lap.  
He reclaimed one hand, and she barely noticed him rummaging around in his pocket, as he kissed her again, fully, lovingly.  
He found it.  
His heart skipped a beat.  
He was ready.  
He couldn't hang around either because the crazed sex beast that was his wifey was ready to take him right there against the fountain.  
He pulled away slowly, grinning madly.  
He got down on one knee.

Rachel spread her legs for him automatically and his heart swelled with pride.  
"Er... So... Please... Rach... Babe... Fuck it. Will you marry me?"  
She gasped.  
"Fuck yes- I mean- yes, yes... Yes!"  
They were both grinning like a pair of Cheshire cats now, and he casually slipped his spare nipple ring onto her finger.  
"I swear I'll get you a proper ring", he mumbled sheepishly, "with diamonds and _everything_".

She just kissed him, knocking all his breath away with the force.  
And he loved it. He loved her.

All her crazy was his. Forever and always.

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Please Review :)


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